You were so still today friend.

I’m glad I got to see you anyhow. 
It’s ridiculous, but I got lost and was 45 minutes late to your viewing man. Your family wanted me to say a few words too. I think it was all for the best though; I don’t think I really realized you were gone until I entered that room.

Damn you’re really gone.

Your mom lost so much weight man. I think she’s taking it really rough. Who could blame her though right? She loved you so much. I’m sure you know that though.

I’m surprised your dad recognized me right off. He asked me if I had talked to you recently before the accident, and I told him no. He then told me I was one of your favorite friends. I told him you were one of mine. I pretty much lost it then. Embarrassing huh? I bet you’d be making fun of my crying ass.

You were so still today. That twinkle in your eye was gone. Your face didn’t have that wry smile on it. No sarcastic comment left your mouth bro. I overheard your friends saying they expected you to just start talking any minute. “Haha I’m all right guys! I was just playing!” And nobody would blame you man. Not one bit.

But you didn’t say anything. 
Ack. I cried so much today man. I didn’t think I could honestly. You’d be ashamed haha. I just miss you man. I don’t know when I’m going to see you again, but when I do we have a lot to catch up on.

Rest in peace. 

There are times when I can either be right or happy. 

Most of the time I find it’s better to be happy.

that if you’re going through hard times or are just in a bad mood

you can choose to be upset and bitter

or you can use the experience to mold you into a better person.

something i needed to hear today.

i’m a happy clam.

intro to counseling couldn’t be more interesting.

i feel great!
both mind and body.
i am thankful to be 21.
it’s a good age.

living with God
feels like
i’m a tree
planted by
a stream.
my branches
stretch further
out every day.

that is all.

Pro 12:15  The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

when somebody criticizes you have two ways to go

you can accept it and grow or 

you can protect your ego.

-mC josh ro

My spiritual life as of late had been a lazy river ride. 

I felt great. I hadn’t committed any grievous sins and read my bible and prayed daily. Yet something was missing. I was a good person by the world’s standards, but when I paid attention to my thoughts and speech I realized that my heart strayed from the Lord.

I’d found God’s grace love - that in itself is amazing and miraculous. However I couldn’t shake the feeling that we weren’t to simply rest and placate ourselves once we’d found it! We are to do God’s work, to share the amazing news that we are so lucky to find!

This thought had been sitting on my mind, and I let up prayers. Yesterday Momo asked if I wanted to accompany him to a bible study at a local coffee shop. He wanted to go get advice for a bible study he was planning, and wanted my help. I refused (laughing) because I wanted to go to the gym, and study for the LSAT. In my mind my spiritual life had already been fulfilled that day. I had already read my bible and prayed! I even thought of God as I went about my daily tasks! That was enough! This was too much. God would understand.

It’s funny how a little indolence creeps up on you. We agreed at lunch to do a bible study at 9:30. It’s 9:29 and Momo hits me up and I groaned inwardly. I asked my roommate if he wanted to go, more than ready to flake out if he wasn’t feeling it. However, despite the fact that Luis did not want to go as well, he felt like we should [Lord thank you again for my roommate].

In our reading that night I read an excerpt from Ellen White (where Momo’s bookmark was) about how we needed to exercise our faith, or else it would flicker away. We had to work for God to keep our faith up! God had answered my prayer sufficiently, but he wasn’t done yet.

We shared struggles and prayer request and upon closing up we all laughed about how we had almost missed this huge blessing because of our laziness. I went to shower and upon my return noticed that Momo texted me to come to his room. When I arrived he literally got on his knees and begged me to help him with the bible study he was planning for former members of the party scene like ourselves. Seeing Momo like this really opened my eyes and I realized that God had answered my prayers like I could not imagine. It reminded me that nothing else matters more than God’s work, and nothing else should come first. 

Mat 6:33  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 

I don’t want to chill out in Your grace. Set me on fire Lord!

My beloved brothers and sisters!

Let us ALL be:

quick to hear

slow to speak

and 

slow to anger

I feel compelled to share this so here goes.

In my schooldays blog I ended it with an inquiry, “I wonder who my roommate will be?” I seriously wondered who God had planned for me to live with since it seemed to me that He had wanted me to live where I’m living now.

So I got a got a call from the Dean informing me that he had found a roommate for me, a sophomore, and that we seemed to be a good match.

While moving in I met him. A hispanic, taller guy who seemed really nice. His name was Luis. He transferred here from a community college in Los Angeles. One of the first things he asked me if there were any parties at our school. I inferred from the natural way he asked me this question that parties were probably second nature to him, and informed him that although there were parties that the scene wasn’t too big within our campus.

The next day, it was time for a bible study Momo and I had scheduled, and I thought about whether I should invite Luis. Even though I had my doubts as to whether he’d be interested, I asked. He agreed right away!

In Momo’s room the bible study was crawling.. everybody seemed a little wary of each other and hesitant to open up and really share. I encouraged Momo to share an example of story of a time where he couldn’t have done something without God. 

Now, on my friend Momo’s wall there are 30+ post its. The first one says 32 days left and the last one says 1 day left. There are big X’s on all of them except the last two. Momo explained that he had tried to take a break from smoking pot last school year to prove he was strong enough to go without by himself, but had failed with only two days left! He leaves them up as a reminder that without God, we are powerless.

Luis then opened up and shared that he was glad to hear this story and have some people to relate to, because circumstances related to Momo’s were why he’s arrived in Walla Walla. I won’t go into detail, but it seems that Momo, Luis and I all have made surprising and similar changes this Summer (some forced and some voluntary) and are all in the same boat. Luis then went on to say that this was something else, and that although others might disagree this seems to have happened for a reason.

He had three choices for roommates. Two were freshmen, and one was a senior (me). His first thought was to go with a freshmen, since they were more his age, but something told him to go with the senior. 

I don’t know if this story sounds really lame or what.. but it truly touched me and I can’t imagine what life would be like if I had moved into an apartment. It really doesn’t seem that my circumstances could be better than they are now. 

I use this analogy for faith, and it helps me.

God is omniscient and He loves us infinitely.

If God were a person on Earth and you asked Him, ‘God what is the BEST possible thing, considering ALL things, that I could be doing at this point?’ What would his answer be?

I think the answer would be something crazy that we wouldn’t understand. Simply because our understanding, knowledge, and love is so limited and God’s is infinite. 

Closing our human eyes to life and trusting God can be scary at first, but once we start to realize how much He loves us and that He’s REAL, we just can’t live life any other way!

Living life our own way is simply too boring, painful, and joyless.

In the past I’ve always thought that following God’s ways would lead to a boring, subservient life of conformity. Oh how the world whispers lies in our ears.

I wouldn’t give up where I am now for anything.

God’s knowledge and love is infinite. Amen.